OH, Same Shit, Different Day!

yipee

2006-05-02T03:19:00.000-12:00

at last!

i found the password for this blog.

hehehe

too many blogs, so little memory space in my brain

cge lang.

sleepy pa ko

di muna kita i update...

im so lazy in updating this

2006-04-03T03:06:00.000-12:00

i am so bad. i am super bad. i promised myself and a GOOD friend that i would update my blog regularly... to top it of the regularly i meant was... EVERYDAY! hehehe. Well, here's a first of my days of daily blogging!

This weekend was really hectic... i had so much fun with my friends....

FRIDAY
kathy, jen and tofen, thank you for being there and understanding my ordeal. I had a hard time admitting to the fact and it took me a lot of courage to share that with you. I miss the times we partied till the sun was up... hope we can do that. 3:00am ain't that bad, huh? yesiree!!! we still had it, we partied till it was 3 and mind you... we started hanging at 7pm. Dinner was so great! I love lemongrass and forever will. Their pad tahi never disappoints me. After the FEAST!!! YUP, literally... it was a feast we went to La Marea for friggin' desserts that will blow your mind away. I had warm brownie cups (that is what they are famous for). After that... 3 hours at K1 which gave me a sorethroat after. I sang "i can make it through the rain" and it wasn't that horrible or my friends just lied so i can feel good. HEHEHE

SATURDAY

had a jammed pack sat.
had dinner with my Merlin, John, Fritz and others peeps from john's crowd... it was fun in a weird way. I thought that i would feel out of place because it was an all boy's (este... MEN pala) crowd but i didn't. I wanted to stay but i gave the men sometime to talk and get together... also, i had another place to got to go.

arrived at ayala at past 8. I was kinda surprised because when i arrived... a lot of peeps were there. Dhedi, Jinky, Mikee, WINNIE (the MAIN reason we had an EB), JM, Sir Paz,and Mags. I was so happy that it was a good crowd! Unfortuantely... sir paz and JM couldn't join bec of previous engagement. Then JAMES arrived... follwed by YUNA and RASTA!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!

we rocked the YO LATINO that nite. we danced like crazy... and beautifully... if i party... i party hard. So deal with it. It was 3am when the band finished and we decided to have coffee at bo's for a little while. At 4:30am... we called it a nite.

hahayz.... that is my life.... on weekends, oh... im not finished yet!

SUNDAY!
we had swimming at family park and dinner in goodah gud.

(will edit this part coz im too sleepy)

card readings? anyone?

2006-03-28T20:00:00.000-12:00

Card readings are fun. they just give me a laugh or two... I found this site a long time ago and yet everytime i go there... and have my "fate" explained... it interests me more...

fell free to sign up and get yours!!!
TAROT CARD READING

how you feel about yourself now (Death)
Perhaps you feel that everything as you have known it is falling apart. Unexpected changes and turmoil, end of a job, end of a career, divorce or end of a relationship, recovering from a bereavement or fear of bereavement. Try not to worry too much, this time of absolute endings heralds a brand new beginning, a period of great transformation.

what you most want at this moment (Judgement)
The cards suggest azyle, that what you most want at this time is a new start, to close this chapter in your life and have a brand new beginning. This is not a time for regret but for rejoicing. Rewards for past efforts will follow and you are sure to have many opportunities presented to you. Life will pick up a pace and the choices you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour.

your fears (The Moon)
Lies and insecurity are likely to be prominent in your life at the moment, you are afraid of being deceived and feel that you are being misled. Trust your instincts and let them guide you away from those who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains. Your turbulent emotions are muddying the waters - step back and try to find clarity of mind, although this may seem difficult. The Moon does help to illuminate the way and don’t worry, it will turn out alright in the end.

what is going for you (The Lovers)
New love and commitment will enter your life, even if there’s no one on the horizon - be prepared for a surprise. Throw caution to the wind and expect joyous and happy times ahead.

what is going against you (The Star)
This is a period of tension and frustrations, you feel pessimistic and fearful that your hopes will be dashed. Any bad luck you may be having is primarily down to your self-doubt and negativity. Have faith that your luck will change.

outcome (The Devil)
If your previous cards have been positive and your main consideration has been about a relationship then there’s a possibility of commitment, even a proposal of marriage. If this is not the case this a final opportunity for you to change course, because the temptation you are experiencing concerning a relationship, money or materialism or any other kind of addiction won’t lead to a happy ending. If you are feeling low in self-belief and self worth and doubt your abilities, don’t, have more confidence - its not too late to change direction.

is this me or what

2006-03-27T15:41:00.000-12:00

You're a Steady Supporter

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Brought to you by Tickle

what i did today!

2006-02-22T02:18:00.000-12:00

February 22,

Slept only for 3 hours... had to go to a lot of places. Had to meet with
possible client for the shirt printing business. We are having luck on our side lately.
Had to meet friends today so that i could say goodbye to IGSO P. He's a really good friend of mine. He's like a brother to me. The kind of friend that you will really treasure. We ate and talked and laughed and made plans for our business... the present one and the future. HAAAY! I really hate goodbye's. To tell you the truth, i hate the fact that someone is leaving me behind... may it be brother, friend or boyfriend. I hate the one being left behind. My tendency is to pull away from them at the last minute, so that "i think" it wouldn't hurt that much... but in reality it hurts more. That is why, im trying to make this one a good farewell. Still keep in touch and be makulit... :P I hope that he'll find what he wants in MANILA.

Poy, i wish you'll find bliss!

After that,i went to ayala hoping i could get some sleep. I went to AeonFlux, but i couldn't sleep. so i transfered and watched a movie that is all talk. I watched Rumor Has It. It was the only movie that would make me sleep. HEHEHE! After that my BF met me in Ayala to discuss the business. We had dinner there. We ate Japanese and Chinese Cuisine. (NOTE: Me and MERLIN almost always order food good for 3-4. We want a lot of variation eh!)

Then we went to TIMEZONE. Played dance revo... and WE SUCKED!!!! yehey! HOORAH!!!

we sucked together, i really wasnt ashamed coz he was there turning red from laughing. What a joy it is to find the perfect man for you!

I LOVE YOU MERLIN! mwah

OLD and RUINED CLOTHES; and NEW FRIENDS

2006-02-16T08:16:00.000-12:00

Here is the entry for the day.

February 16, 2006

arrived early, the surroundings were still dark and i embraced it with open arms so that i can sleep well, or so i thought. GGGRRR. i only slept around 4 hrs because my phone got a message. I was so tired that i wasn’t able to forget to turn the sounds to silent. STUPID ME!

I had nothing to do, so i decided to do the laundry, because my i had enough SHIT from my laundry woman. She ruined a lot if my expensive clothes…

1. My brand new MARKS n SPENCER brown skirt which i bought for 3,000 ++ ( it had never been worn! EVER) well now its colored "spotted blue"

2. My MOSSIMO black t-shirt is now a yucky violet tshirt.

3. My LOALDE business blouse that has a light blue accent… guess what! it isn’t light blue

4. My turtle neck striped violet, blue and white , hehehe! its not striped anymore! (in some places.)

5. A LOT MORE!!! (like my whites, they are dirty whites plus a little blue there and a pink here, and yellow at the bottom.) I just realized/found out that she doesn’t separate the white ones from the colored ones.

GGGGGRRRRRR! as in…. BIGGGG GGGRRRR!

So after the whole 2 hours of laundry, i was dead tired and i wanna sleep but i can’t. My BF dropped by the house so that he could go to "C" to buy the shirts needed for printing. I was so happy that i wouldn’t have to leave the house early but to my disappointment i had too. I had a meeting with friends so i can show them a type of shirt that i supplied. They wanted the shirt, not the printing. (incase you didn’t know, i operate a small time tshirt printing together with a friend of mine.) So, because they forumers (BisayaOnline) i did not charge them any… they can get it same price as i get mine

I was glad cause i got to meet jamescebu, tindak lang gihapon, and yuna. They are quite famous in the forums. T gave me the CD that he promised!!! YIPPEEE! i have a brownman revival CD. yaaahhhhooo! I gave them my word that i will go to the next EB of the 25th February. I hope i really can.

My BF and i had dinner at BIG MAO. I love the food. The service was great too! I am very particular with that. Too bad we didn’t take pictures there, i was so busy devouring the food. We ordered for 4 people and it was just me and my BF. So, technically… 4. :D We went to timezone after that and we decided to do the "Van Gogh" it was so nice. We look great together. We have two poses. I will definitely post them. After that, i saw Anbern at Bo’s Coffee Club. Chatted for a bit and went to work. So here i am, sitting in a computer chair, calling clients and hoping that they are in a good mood today!

P.S. My BF told me that his MOM is gonna arrive in the next few weeks for a summer vacation. GGGRRRR. i dread that day! His mom doesn’t like me due to some specifications that does not suit her. (reputation and family back ground and race) I wish it was not that difficult. I really love her son.

I grieve for Rhumba

2006-02-16T08:08:00.000-12:00

i wanted to make this a daily thing... really, i do. i've decided to make this my lists of my actions, thoughts and feelings. hehehe. i started doing this on the 15th on a different blog site, UNFORTUNATELY, it wasn't really for me. I had difficulty in making change and doing links... so here i am. Back to where i started.

I'LL JUST POST THE DATE:

FEBRUARY 15, 2006

arrived in the house at 5:30am and i slept immediately,
GOD i was so tired that i didn’t realize that im sleeping with
only my underwear. HEHE! Good thing we are all girls!

woke up around 9:30am. (yeah! i am insomiac and im proud!)
i had an agreement with my roommate, Ste to go to Robinsons and
purchase the white gold necklace i’ve been eyeing on… at last now,
i had my pay to be able to purchase it! :)

My other roommate Shy and a housemate Jan decided to go with me, so without baths… we went to the mall and bought my necklace. We also bought food supplies. In any case our funds go low, at least we have food!

There was this promo for Cadbury Chocolates… for every 150php worth and get a chance to pick a mystery card that can win a TRIP to HONGKONG FOR 2. So, since Ste and I liked Cadbury, we decided to buy and participate in the promotion, but the promo lady said we could only get two (2) coz thats the maximum they give to a person. My reaction was… miss do you know the meaning of FOR EVERY 150php… and she kept on insisting that 2 was the limit. She evn showed me a receipt for 600php and she only gave 2. OMG! i asked for her supervisor and she was hesitant, she kept on insisting that if i talked to her supervisor, i make sure that her supervisor will know that i understood the rules on my own and she has said over and over that only 2 were maximum. I said "FINE." Then she gave me a number to call, fortunately for her that a supervisor dropped by to look at how things were, i introduced myself, opened up the situation and the supervisor agreed with me. HAHAHA! I felt bad for the sales lady because that was how she was oriented. The supervisor called the office and verified the info, hehehe, it was true that that was how the promo girls were trained. Too bad, that was the last day of the promo. They found out too late!

After that we went home and to my surprise my BB Merl gave me peanut butter. (coz yesterday i was cravin for peanut butter jelly sandwich) When he arrived, i modelled for him my new necklace… and i told him that i also liked a necklace that was tri-colored to match my bangles and earrings. He had to go and buy tshirts because we had orders… When he got back… VIOLA! i had my necklace. He gave them to me as a Post-Valentine gift. me? i was so touched! Grabeh!

Later in the evening i found out that STARBUCKS is not serving RHUMBA anymore. SHIT!!! My Favorite drink is not gonna be available. huhuhuhu. I almost cried. Atleast my next fav drink "passion iced tea" is still here to comfort me in my hour of need.

I really need to get back to work. this is a pretty long first posts!

THE BIG V DAY!

2006-02-07T09:05:00.000-12:00

i dont know what is happening to the people around me lately... some of the are so worked up and stressed because Valentines Day is coming. I HATE IT. its not that i dont have a boyfriend, infact we are going 4 years and getting stronger (i just realized that he's the ONE) and its nice to show love and appreciation to your loved ones but does it have to be only in FEBRUARY 14? STUPID! It has been commercialized too the maxx... and where do you get the idea na i-firing squad and mga singles kay mag mika daw! PAET. For me if you are single celebrate it! Life is fun with or without a lover. You have your family and friends. If you have a partner/married celebrate each waking moment loving and showing the person that you do so. Its not that I HATE VALENTINES but I hate the fact that instead of showing your appreciation to the person that you love for every month/every day some people just do it in Valentines Day!

Wala lang. Kapoy man gud nga daghan kaau tao ang cge ug ask kung unsay ihatag nila sa ilaha partner... (sorry ha sa mga peeps nga nag txt) but for me the best gift nga imu mahatag is time... time together with him. No need for material stuff.

I hope that we can celebrate the TRUE ESSENCE of VALENTINES is that we need to practice love... be unified in love and to love.

HAY! dont mind this post its just what i was thinking at 5am after shift (and i didnt sleep yesterday)

me and only me

2006-01-27T06:57:00.000-12:00

Wala lang ako magawa... share ko lang yung pics ko na gusto ko....

WWWWAAAAAHHHHHAAAHHHHAAAAA!!!!

post birthday post!

2006-01-12T07:10:00.000-12:00

had a blast yesterday... spent the whole day with friends... and the whole night with family... and the officemates i have. Being 22 ain't that bad. But the idea of me still being an undergraduate scares me. I need to get that diploma NOW. Will be studying this coming April or June. I wish i could still live independently, but i think my dad would not approve of me studying then mag-boarding haus ko. HHHMMM. yeah! he'll definitely impose of me, moving back to the house. SAYANG! Heniways, today... me n my sis virgo went out! We had fun. We went singing in the newly opened Timezone near Persian Palate... haha! i got a 96 score!!! unfortunately, she got 99! grrrr! she always sang like an angel. We grooved in the dance revo too! i was... SMOKING HOT!!

after that, i had to run a few errands. a few. pagkatapos... psyched ako nakipaglaro ng.... BADMINTON! 2 against 1. SOLVE pa rin. Nice makipaglaro kay pie at rachel. Si rachel yung tipong standing lang at si pie naman tumatakbo talaga. Nice yung team nila. Me? i had to run, wanna loose weight eh? I wanna try pilates or yoga or go back to karatedo? hmmm. i have to decide which is which para di masayang yung pera. Sabi ng sis ko na bili nalang daw ng PS2 para dance revo nalang daw mi maghapon... para pumayat! (she wishes!!!)

hmmm. whata day!

2006-01-11T04:17:00.000-12:00

hmmm. im so happy today. i love my life. i love me. i love the people around me.

thank you!

a sad story...

2006-01-10T09:15:00.000-12:00

“Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So know how matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

-----------------------------------------------------------
i really feel like breaking. the past few days has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. I need space... i love him so much. that is why it pains me so to say goodbye. I hope you will understand what i mean... i hope that you would be the man that i want and need.

I'm not perfect... i know i have a lot of flaws and that's why i'm working on it. Please work on yours too. You must make me see that you are capable of changing. Please.

I want us to end up together, believe me... I DO! I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

im a female capricorn and this is not true!!!

2006-01-09T05:39:00.000-12:00

My friend sent me an email regarding my horoscope in the bed... wwwwwwaaaaaahahhhahaha!

i had a laugh when i got it coz it is just simply crazy! If you want yours... just email me with your zodiac sign and i will send you your "horny-scope".

Read further! mWaH!

CAPRICORN

December 23 - January 20
Ruling Planet: SATURN - The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which means Capricorn can go the distance - with major staying power - in bed and beyond!!

Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money.

Like I said before, Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!

FAVE POSITION:
Spooning! Goat boys and girls love to take, or be taken from behind.

BEST SEX TOY:
An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the randy goat.

CAPRICORN MALE IN BED
Imagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so don't expect acrobatics in the sack. Sex with him could possibly be as boring as watching paint dry and he tends to be a little bit selfish in that area too.BUT you can definitely count on him to be faithful if he has committed to you.

CAPRICORN FEMALE IN BED
She is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough nut to crack but once inside her shell, she's as sweet as caramel. Her fave position may be missionary, but she seeks excitement in new locations, so experiment with

different venues to keep it interesting.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CAPRICORN
Capricorns are the most anal signs of the zodiac, so buttering them up will take a bit of effort. Believe it
or not, their erotic area is the knees! Lightly stroke their legs, paying close attention to the knee region.
Licking, kissing, and nibbling the area will get them squirming.

2006-01-09T05:22:00.000-12:00

Stick Wit U - Pussy Cat Dolls

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, you're the only one for me (one for me)
(What I'm sayin' is)

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you (baby I'm with you)
Baby you're with me (baby you're with me, higher)

So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's, that's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u (come on)
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

2006-01-08T19:18:00.000-12:00

"Intellectually" Intelligent

You're 'Intellectually Intelligent.' That pretty much means that you're good with theoretical ideas and concepts - but this comes to you naturally. More or less, you're a natural brainiac. Good for you.

40% theoretical intelligence
60% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

wedding bells?

2006-01-05T02:54:00.000-12:00

You Are Ready to Get Married

You've done more than dream about the dress and the honeymoon

In fact, you spend a good deal of your time thinking about what makes a relationship work

And from your answers, it looks like you have the skills to say "I Do" and mean it

You've dated enough, learned your fair share, and you're ready to settle down.

Are You Ready for Marriage? Take This Quiz :-)

mah what- a day

2006-01-03T10:39:00.000-12:00

A year ender (starter naman ni... nabusy eh!) survey

The WHATs???

What was the biggest decision that you made in the year 2005?
Moving out of the house.

What song/songs did you like most this year?
A lot. but the most memorable ones were the renditions my friend made. nice man kaau cya voice gud!

What was you most liked month?
September... dunno, just like it!

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
went to a gay bar, started a business, moved out of the house, joined cebuano forums and opened my OWN bank account!

What date from 2005 will remain in your memory forever?
September 13. The birthdate of my other half.... :P

What new places did you go to this year?
Panglao, Tuburan, and Malapascua (para magpa-itim! BEACH TIME!)

What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Financial Independence, Peace of Mind and Sound Judgement

What was your biggest achievement this 2005?
I convinced myself that i should want, like, and need the idea of healthy living.

What was the best thing you bought?
My K700i

What was your biggest failure?
being the uncontrollable shopaholic

What was the most shocking news you heard about this 2005?
The president. Admitting to calling Garci. (WHAT?)
Raul Rocco's Death.
Pope John Paul II's Death
My Lolo's Death.

What do you wish you had done more?
serious thinking. Writing. Business trips.

What do you wish you had done less of?
Be madaldal. Going to parties. Shopping.

What was the thing you splurged on the most?
SHOPPING!!!

What is your stress reliever?
A massage. I don't care whether it is Thai, Sweddish or Shiatsu.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I don't really know. This year was full of unexpected things that got me excited.

What was your fashion get-up last 2005?
The "BUM" look.

What was your favorite TV program?
I love TRU CALLING!

What is your most prized VCD/DVD collection?
Meteor Garden 1 & 2

What was the best book/s you read?
Novels by Julie Garwood and V.C. Andrews. The Clayborne brides and Dollanganger Family Series

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Damien Rice

What did you want and get?
Independence, good job and a start-up business!

What was your favorite film of this year?
If Only. Loved the story... eh!

What is the best line in a song that represents the emotions you had for year 2005?
" I love you, You love me, Take this gift and don't ask why. Cause if you, would let me i'd take what scares you hold it deep inside.

What kept you safe and sane in 2005.
My room mates, friends, job, blogging and writing.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a small salo-salo with family... then i treated some friends! :P (secret nalang yung age!?!)

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having you... (*smiles*)

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Panglao Island... da best!

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
when my lolo died.

What did you like most about yourself this year?
I liked it that i followed my heart. Trying to be independent even though it is scary. Being able to survive that trial... and if it were graded, making an A+!

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
My shopping sprees. i can't control it. aw my gawd... if you see my closet you know what i mean. My being fickle minded... sobrah!

What would you change if you had the power to time travel?
i would have enrolled this year... i would have had my bf concentrate on studying that CGFNs stuff.

What political issue stirred you the most?
Hello GARCI???

What is your most prized VCD/DVD collection?
Meteor Garden 1 & 2

What was your proudest moment of 2005?
When my dad told me that he was seeing that i was doing ok on my own!

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
2 actually... when i went to Jerry Yan's concert in cebu and made "tukmud" the people who were blocking my view and when my sister asked me, why my bf and i wouldn't just rent an apartment... (my dad was around!)

What was the one thing that's not making you happy?
eating alone sumtimes... and staying in a room that is so "ma-init"... and the fact that my newly-bought skirt from Marks n Spencers was ruined by the labandera.... GGGRRRR! that was my Christmas gift to myself!

What bad habit did you give up this year?
YES. I stopped smoking!!! :) and im 4 months na walang usok!

What is the thing that's making you happy?
The fact that i found tennis buddies already. I have been exercising for the past 3 months and not smoked a cig for 4 months....!!! OOOOHHHH. lalalalalala

What are your plans for 2006?
School. i guess. wanna go back to get a degree. Good business sana! My own PAD!!!

What are your wishes for the new year?
I wish... (ohhhh, wishes) to be able to discipline me in all aspects... (shopping, eating, sleeping, watching tv and cursing)

What is your top 3 new years resolution?
YES. to manage my finances better, to live a healthy life, to be closer to GOD.

What important lesson(s) you learned in 2005?
1) The world is smaller than I ever thought it was, and bigger than I ever thought it was.
2) Kaya ko.

What is your motto for the year to come?
" I am a dreamer and i dream big dreams, i know. But i do not dream dreams that i can't make into a reality for i know i can make it big."

For a friend...

2006-01-03T09:54:00.000-12:00

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

10 Rules in having a good day!

2006-01-02T11:27:00.000-12:00

1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind...
I will not respond in a like manner.

2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY "ENEMY":
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will
quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand the "enemy"
could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger.

3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do
not spread gossip.

4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.

5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.

6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE,
BUT I WILL NOT DO IT SECRETLY:
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.

7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE
TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have
them do unto me" - with everyone I encounter.

8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE I
DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the
difference to someone who is wrestling life.

9. TODAY I WILL NUTURE MY BODY:
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my
body.

10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading
something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place
(at some point during the day) and listen to God's voice!

1st post po, for 2006!

2006-01-02T04:25:00.000-12:00

pag 31st DEC, my dichi and I went to our family reunion... DAD's side of the family tree, unfortunately they are not OK with my step lola, kaya he preferred to go out with his friends and achi same as always, had work. So for lunch, dichi and i had to be there and be civil to her. I was also glad to be there, my cousins were complete... hehehe, lingaw kaau! ate like crazy, talked like crazy... wait a minute! WE WERE CRAZY that day! We had pictures taken of us... ala model style. (will post the pic mamaya :P)

After that, we went to the cemetery that my Lolo was buried to pay respects.... I MISS YOU, LOLO FADS. I MISS YOU MOM. I MISS YOU MOMMY. I MISS YOU MAMA. We prayed for their souls. pagkatapos nun... eh me n my sis went to ayala to shop for food, para sa first ever, new year's eve sa bahay...

*************************

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!

new year... happy year? hope so. the first two days was not bad, infact it was awesome. The first day, after the traditional "feast" which for the first time in history we spend time on our own, meaning DAD, Achi, Dichi and ME! [ O.T. my beloved brother couldn't join us for he is in manila and he came to cebu in mid-december and my mom, well she passed away already, its been 5 years already. Eversince she passed away we have been spending Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve at our Tito's place. They made sure of that! This year, they were really not glad that WE (meaning my ACHI) decided that we spend those together. They were really sad. My tita almost lost her poise when we said we couldn't go to their place. SAD, but it was also a good decision. it brought the family together. Yeah, we are only 5 in the family and i'm the youngest yet we couldn't get along sometimes! (SUS! ALWAYS JUD)] i watched the first season of TRU CALLING. as in lahat ng yun! i finished after 14 hours. huh!!! yup... my eyes were watery yet i finished it! thankfully our DVD player didn't blow up! ( kuya: i switched from 1 dvd to the other. had to add that, basin maglagot ako brother, he bought it for us kasi eh?) It was nice, kaso bitin... :(

AAASSSTTTTEEEEGGGG!

before i watched it, we had a feast, hehehe. grabeh kay akong kaon last na gud toh. ako nalang gi lubos2x. then we had videoke and when 12 o'clock came, sus! noisy kaau. We ran outside to watch the fireworks. Our family doesn't really buy fireworks... nakikinuod lang kami. We prefer to be on the safe side. We buy torotots lang! The sky was so beautiful, all those sparkly things and all the forms they make... AAHHH! marvelous. The "show" lasted for 10 - 15 minutes. Fortunately, our none of our neighbors had an accident. So, it was a pleasant eve. After that, we went home shared stories and dreams. Achi had to sleep early for she had work the very next day and Dad also had to serve in the Church (he's a lay minister), i had nothing else to do but watch something... sa kadaghan na CD's and DVD's sa haus, i had to watch... layo na kaau ko coz i don't have access to the collection jud coz i live separately na in a room together with friends. it was so nice and thrilling... hehehe, wa gud ko na undang. i wish naa pa ta sumpay, (KUYA... please buy the next season, pa ship mo lang pls.)

after, went home... slept 15 hours... and woke up JAN 2. went around town with my friend.... did not get any sleep and now, im at work. HAAAYY!!!
Hopefully 2006 would grant me and my family... my friends and their families as well as my not so friends and their families GOOD HEALTH, PEACE of MIND, HAPPINESS, WEALTH and ALL GOOD THINGS!

me? an idealist!

2005-12-29T08:56:00.000-12:00

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

wanna know yours? juz' click here.
The Three Question Personality Test

My HOROSCOPE...

2005-12-29T08:37:00.000-12:00

1984 is the year the youngest of my family was delivered (YUP! that's me!) That will be ALMOST 22 years from now (im just counting days before i turn older. hehehehe)

I am really quite discombobulated (my big word for the day *grin*) to which Chinese Horoscope I belong. Chinese New Year is usually a month difference from the one that we are using now which is i think the Gregorian calendar. If i rely on the Gregorian calendar then I'm a RAT, however if i rely on the Western Calendar... then im a BOAR. It's either im the first of the 12 animals or the last. (tough luck!)

SO anyways... i'll just consider myself a BOAR-RAT, a hybrid. (WHOA! that woud be interesting on who did who! :P )

I'll just post both of my horoscopes here and just rely that good fortune and good luck will be by my side all year long!

Rat

Cheer up and accept good luck as your right!
For the very lucky sign of the Rat, 2006 may be a year of surprises. Romance and financial improvements will open up for you if you shed bad habits. Most importantly, don't use the past as the basis of your future expectations.

Don't let stress take charge in 2006. In other words, quit procrastinating; your resources--including minor health issues--may not be reliable in 2006. Plan ahead!

Also, don't turn to unhealthy habits to relieve stress. I'm especially talking about overspending or--at the other extreme--obsessing about money. Instead, take up yoga, walk on the beach, spend time in art galleries, go to concerts, or find other ways to bring serenity to your life.

Pig

Identify your unique strengths and stay in focus.
2006 is going to test your patience. It's also going to be a year of profound self-examination, with the potential to soar in future years.

In the past, you've been playing it safe. Even if you've been a little bit of a renegade, you've carefully stayed as mainstream as possible.

Well, 2006 is going to force you to identify what makes you different, and shine the spotlight on that. It's like "niche marketing," but it will involve more than just how you handle your career. You may need a new wardrobe, a new car, and a total lifestyle change, to accommodate who you really are, inside; that's where your strengths are.

Sure, this sounds like mid-life crisis, and maybe it is. But, if you continue to try to look like everyone else, you'll lose big as your competitors--in all areas of life--sweep success right out from under you.

Instead, be the very best YOU that you can be, and live loud and large. It may fray your nerves to make these changes in 2006, but... on a gut level, you knew that this was overdue.

--------------------------------

I know that some of the populace really belief in this and i respect their choice and opinion, however for me... its just
fun to have a foresight on the things that "might" come in the near future, but still i depend on me to make my life better.
i make my own destiny. i make my own choices. i write my own story. and i like it just like that!!! :) :) :)

How do i say, I Love You...

2005-12-28T10:20:00.000-12:00

How to say

I Love You

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)/Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)/Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)/Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)

something to think about...

2005-12-28T10:07:00.000-12:00

“If we don't feel love with our heart, then how come that's where it hurts when someone doesn't love you back?”

POST SECRET

2005-12-27T02:27:00.000-12:00

Pictures from POSTSECRET

right brained po akow!!!

2005-12-26T13:41:00.000-12:00

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen

Peacemaker, first to end a fight

Good at thinking up creative dates

Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily

Going with your gut instead of your head

Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault

Good at recognizing patterns in relationships

Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count

Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love

Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow

Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind

Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love? Take This Quiz :-)

2005-12-22T03:55:00.000-12:00

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual
You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in
You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage
Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

Take this quiz at
blogthings

Holiday Shopping!!!

2005-12-22T02:56:00.000-12:00

hmmm. this past few days grabeh yung sked ko. After work. i have to go out and buy stuff for presents. HAAY! ako bulsa, hay! buslot na. I don't even know what happened to my 13th month and my pay and my bonus. they say, easy come... easy go, but come to think of it, pinaghirapan ko naman yun! But in da spirit of xmas. Cge. Once in a year lang toh eh.

eto kami... shopping kuno!

dats shy2x and stela. they are my beloved roommates.

eto si ste... shop cya nang pang kris kringle nya bukas!

eto di si mommy shy n yves... walang magawa kaya nagpa mukhang THUGZ!

ako alang picture kasi ako may dala ng fone eh! kaya lagay lang ako different pic... yung cute ako!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

a tribute to my beloved

2005-12-21T09:32:00.000-12:00

Dats my baby!!!

I LOVE YOU. I never knew that i am capable of feeling this way. Sometimes, it scares me , but to visualize a life w/o you... that's scarier! They say that we are not meant to be... but i beg to disagree. your hand fits perfectly in my hand. We are soulmates, i believe that!

All my life, without a doubt I give you
All my life, now and forever till the
Day I die, you and I will share

All the things this changing world can offer
So I sing, I'd be happy just to
Stay this way, spend each day, with you

There was a time, that I just thought
That I would lose my mind
You came along and then the sun did shine
We started on our way
I do recall that every moment spent
Was wasted time but then I chose to lay it on the line

I put the past away
I put the past away
I put the past away

All my life, I will carry you through
All my life, between each hour of the passing days
I will stay with you

There was a time, that I just thought
That I would lose my mind
You came along and then the sun did shine
We started on our way
I do recall that every moment spent
Was wasted time then I chose to lay it on the line

I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I wanted this all my life

my wishlist!

2005-12-21T09:27:00.000-12:00

im writing my wishlist in here, baka may maawa pa at pagbigyan ang
whim ko. :P I will be so grateful pag lahat ng wish ko, makuha ko. (tough luck!)

my lucrative desires...
1. A new phone. yung Nokia N70 or N90. pwede na rin if yung SE W800 lang!
2. I pod mini or any mp3 player that has good sound quality.
3. A digital camera. Bahala na ano, basta yung 3.2 pixels... OKS Na OKS!
4. Diamond Peel sessions. 8 sessions will do.
5. Dr. Pardis sessions as well.

hnde material...
1. bigyan ako ng clarity kung anong gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko.
2. magka trabaho na yung mga friends ko that are looking for employment
3. pag-uwi sa kuya ko and for him to settle down in cebu!
4. hoping na ma promote ATE ko... she deserves it!
5. prayers nang lahat na maging okay tayong lahat... health wise.

but my inner wish is that...

May the Lord bless my family, friends and i every single day.
May He give us strength in the hour of need and
hope in the time of despair. May he unite the families that are
broken and renew friendship. May love reign every day...

I may like new and expensive techy stuff but if i would give
up my current fone and my five material wishes just to get the
bottom five done... I would!

POY... okay lang yan!

2005-12-21T09:11:00.000-12:00

dats me n poy (walang magawa: so posing nalang!)

TO MY BROTHER POY2x:

Okay lang yan! Smile ka lang. ENJOY MANILA! Sus, tagal mong hindi nakauwi. Namnamin mo yung panahon of relaxation, kasi once every 5 years lang yan! (for him... workaholic kasi eh!) It's gonna be fine.

Dito sa CEBU, yeah... we can't deny it. We miss you! wala na kasing madaldal na ka-opisina. HAAAYY! January ka pa balik diba? (WARNING: HUWAG KANG BALIK NG CEBU IF WALANG PASALUBONG. HATOL: BITAY) Alam mo naman kung anong gusto ko eh?

Pag tawag mo kanina sabi mo tumataba ka... SANA NGA! Feeling ko kasi anorexic ka. KUMAIN KA HA! That's what Christmas is all about, teh pleasure of FREE FOOD w/o the guilt! and, tol... im happy for you! Alam mo na kung ano yun!

At least you are enjoying your life! you deserve it jud.

Haaayyy... miss ko na yung gagu!

whats with you!!!

2005-12-21T08:56:00.000-12:00

ewan ko ba kung anong nagawa ko. Somebody is jealous of me. FEELING NOH? hinde talaga... if he/she is not jealous then why take time and effort and money to hurt me. AS IF? hindi ko sya ka level! GGGRRR.

natatawa lang ako sa mga ginagawa mo... ang sama siguro ng budhi mo, cause as far as i know... we are on the level of "just acquantaince"

we say hi, hello and that's it. We don't even see each other. SUS! inlab kaba sa akin? HAAY. Sorry po! taken na yung lola mo. Alam mo naman yun diba? or if hinde ka sa akin inlab, sa BOYFRIEND KO!!! hhmmmm... may sense din. Either way, sorry ka nalang --- we have each other. strong na yung relationship namin. we have survived na! Going 4 years na po kami! BBLLEEEHH!!!

Nobody wants to stick with you if not for your money uy! ULOL! you have a crappy personality and a sick sense of humor. you think you are cool. mas cool pa yung katulong namin sa bahay! naiinis ako sa pagmumukha mo... wala ka na ngang face value pati na ugali mo, wala pa rin. At ilang years ka na sa college? 5 diba... at 2nd year ka pa rin? WOW! di ka nahihiya sa mama mo?

Maraming tao dyan gusto mag-aral pero di makapag-aral dahil walang pera. Ikaw... maraming pera wala namang UTAK! SUS! mauubos din yan...

2005-12-06T05:11:00.000-12:00

This was given by a friend to me....

She said that i was a BITCH and i should be proud.
Read down below and then you tell me not to be proud when called a BITCH.

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs,
they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love,
they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or
do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in
my heart. It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid.

It means I have the courage and strength to
allow myself to be who I truly am and won't
become anyone else's idea of what
they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is
nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold
within me. You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.

I embrace the title and am proud to bear it!

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

WONDERFUL YOU!

2005-12-04T03:49:00.000-12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY BROTHER!!!

Lymuel Dexter

(dats y he's da best! nindota ah!)

The only rose among the thorns, my bro is one of the very few good single (but not available) guys out there. He's always there when you need him. parang, confidant bah.

Hapit na imung edad mawala sa calendaryo... gilang, naa pa btaw bingo cards!

I hate the fact na wala ka dito on your special day, but i know that ate Ivy is traking good care of you pud.

I love you and i can't wait na balik ka dito sa cebu!!!

MWAH!

surprise po

2005-12-01T08:03:00.000-12:00

(This is way overdue: NOV 26 pa it)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

SHARON MAE SANTOS

wonderful roomate, good listener, obessive compulsive cleaner, loyal GF, devoted Christian, rational, loving, caring, thoughful and most of all... BEAUTIFUL, inside and out.

We had a salo-salo prepared by... our land lady! Si Ma'am Lily jud. Nag pa grill ug pork ug isda. Then Ngioyong sa Cheaverz, puso ug softdrinks. pagkahuman kaon, cake dayun... payter na!

We really didn't expect it. mabait kasi ako roomate that is why she is blessed.

TO MY BELOVED SIS!

2005-12-01T07:29:00.000-12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

ORABEL EYRA

you are a true angel. beloved sis, thank you for everything. You have never abandoned me. You truly have supported me in anything i do, even if you dont approve of it, but when you see i really want it... you give advices. you have also tried to make me understand how the real world works... (but di ko maminaw usahay :P) You are the rope that binds our family together.

HERE! HERE! HERE!

we had sort of a 3 day celebration.....

Day 1. November 28

POD 5 : Banilad Town Center
5pm - 12mn
Dad, ATE O, Ditse, ME, Dan, Uzzel, Larae and BF, Arthur, Rhea, Bridgette, Ivy
(post pics later)

we sang to our hearts content! bahala sila. cute ko that day! as in! (feel ko) Si bridgette nakaka aliw, galing kumanta! pwomis. yung sister ko naman na si virgo, parang angel din kumanta. kami lahat ay nasa tono naman at nag voicing pa! sosyal...

Day 2 : November 29

Ayala 'n Balbacua Place
Ate O and ME

went to ayala to meet my sis. Original plan was to play at timezone but unfortuantely I arrived at 10:50pm which sucks coz the closing time was 11:00pm. So wala nalang. We decided to eat. So close na yung gusto kung kainan, so i just chose the Balbacua place that me and my officemates go to always. (maka save pa mi) So, we ate there. SARAP!

Day 3 : November 30

Jerry's Grill, Timezone, Ratski
Dad, Ate O, Diste. ME. Ate Warfe, Ate Aubrey

had dinner with my cousins at Jerry's Grill. spent another hour waiting for my dad to arrive. Tagal nya noh! then after we went to timezone. Game galore. My dad and I tried this machine that takes a pic of you and draws it... ala charcoal style bah. Ganda kalabasan. Cute ko! but my dad didn't like it coz maitim daw cya tignan. hmmm, may pinag manahan ako sa pagka vain!
after how many hour doon sa gaming zone... Disco sila...

me? i went to the office to earn my keep. huhuhu!

my secret wish!!!

2005-12-01T06:49:00.000-12:00

i am quite sad these days. i really don't know why i feel like this. hollow. cold. and just plain sad. i think im not depressed cause i'm still eating and i still want to exist in this world. when I am around people i feel lonely but whenever im alone... i feel complete. ANG GULO! maybe i just wanna take time off from everything. I wanna leave the country for a while. maybe go to hongkong... if i just had the money, i would do that in an instant.

I really cant share what i feel inside to anyone. they really won't understand it. I wish i was on top of the mountain so i can just shout and release the tension inside me.

I feel like im in a crossroads right now. I have to decide soon.

bits and pieces lang talaga masasabi ko... hay!

i know you will be reading this and you might wonder kung bakit i feel this way, if you wanna know, lets talk. i dont wanna hurt you! that is the last thing i wanna do. but right now im hurting inside... that is why we need to talk.

I wish we could just be like before. We were so happy back then. No problems, not even one bit.
i wish i felt the same way like you do... the intensity of your love for me is unrealistic and im flattered. i wish that whenever i see you, i see the man i loved, somewhere along the way, WE changed... i don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing. All i know is that i fell in love with a man that had a lot of fire inside him. The energy in him was great. I wish i could see him, with the intense fire in him burning again. i wish that you would caress me like you did before. I melted whenever you touched me. the warmth of your gentle touch made me helpless. now, all i sense is the need for you to be with me... it's not the want. i wish you'd take more time to dream dreams. i want you to dream so that i can dream along with you. encourage you to accomplish that dream. be by yourside all the days of our lives. i wish you would take the worried feeling i have now, knowing that i really must talk about us and all the possibilities. i wish that we could just be friends if things wont work out the way we planned it 3 years ago. i wish i can see your will to stand on your own. i wish i could take more time to be with you and care for you as i have always wanted. I wish i can see your drive to protect me from people not wanting me to be your partner. i wish that you can be a romantic guy once in awhile, im not asking for it everyday. I wish you can decide what you want us to be, believe me, I LOVE YOU but I can't wait forever...

Oh how i wish, but i've learned that not all wishes come true. This might be one of those.

Dont get me wrong... i love my other half... this is just one of those days that i wished... and wished...

PINOY AKO!!!

2005-11-25T09:51:00.000-12:00

Stories like this makes me laugh, as in! It makes me proud to be PINOY! hahaha. WAIS talaga!

A Filipino walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the
loan officer that he is going to the Philippines on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Filipino hands over the keys of a new Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Filipino produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pinoy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Pinoy returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to
$15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why
would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Pinoy replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only
$15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" --

BWAHAHA! a kudos to all the pinoys out there!

hi im Sundae Lourdes

2005-11-23T02:17:00.000-12:00

YOUR PORN STAR NAME
(NAME OF FIRST PET + STREET YOU LIVE IN):
Sundae Lourdes - Yes, my chick name was Sundae coz i found it inside the church on a Sunday!

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE JUNK FOOD + GRANDFATHER'S FIRST NAME):
V-Cut Antonio - WAHAHA.

YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME
(FIRST WORD YOU SEE ON YOUR LEFT + FAVORITE RESTAURANT):
Nature Tongs

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS
(FAVORITE SPICE + LAST VACATION SPOT VISITED):
Oreganon Panglao

SOCIALITE ALIAS
(SILLIEST CHILDHOOD NICKNAME + TOWN WHERE YOU FIRST PARTIED):
Tootsie Roll Banilad

"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo)
(FIRST INITIAL + FIRST TWO OR THREE LETTERS OF YOUR LAST NAME):
E.Cas

ICON ALIAS
(SOMETHING SWEET WITHIN SIGHT + ANY LIQUID IN KITCHEN):
Lala iced tea

DETECTIVE ALIAS
(FAVORITE BABY ANIMAL + WHERE YOU WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL):
kitten UC

BARFLY ALIAS
(LAST SNACK YOU ATE + YOUR FAVORITE BAR DRINK):
Jolly Tequila

SOAP OPERA ALIAS
(MIDDLE NAME + STREET WHERE YOU FIRST LIVED):
Magbanua Tormis

ROCK STAR ALIAS
(FAVORITE CANDY/DESSERT + LAST NAME OF FAVORITE MUSICIAN):
Chocolate Decadence parokya mi edgar

seven, da perfect number

2005-11-20T04:16:00.000-12:00

Seven things that scare you:
1. growing old alone
2. snakes, frogs, lizards... basta reptiles! EWWW!
3. criminal minds.
4. taong grasa or "buang"
5. CPA Board Exam
6. Unfamiliar territory
7. spiders, rats and roaches. in short house pest

Seven things you like the most:
1. chicken skin bbq sa larsian (yeah... cholesterol but i LLLOOOOVVVEEE it! so wat!)
2. Fruits like strawberries, durian, ripe mango, and rambutan
3. Cosmo and FHM
4. W.I.T.C.H.
5. massages preferably sa yoga thai/tontons or body and sole. (yan yung mga affordable rates!)
6. iced tea - passion
7. GO NUTS DONUTS! sarap....

Seven important things in your room:
1. bed. ofcourse!
2. pillows. lots and lots of pillows.
3. electric fan. can't afford pa ng aircon eh!
4. aparador intawn
5. shoes
6. foam mattress and sheets
7. Kaguy. my stuffed monkey.

Seven random facts about you:
1. i love to sing
2. i love to write for myself.
3. i am romantic
4. i cook well.
5. i love water. swimming pools, beaches, sapa. miski unsa
6. i am a picky eater.
7. i am sensitive yet i do not show it.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Get a degree.
2. be a good wife and mother.
3. have a business
4. travel. at least one country per continent
5. compile my poems and short stories and publesh them
6. get a tatoo
7. sign up to be an organ donor.

Seven things you can do:
1. carry a tune. dili ni pang star in a million ha?
2. play a prosti... ( i did that already...)
3. act like im from somewhere else? balikbayan kumbaga... hehehe
4. laugh like a hyenna
5. eat like a pig, patay yung owners ng eat all u can! lugi sila sa akin
6. sleep for 16 hours straight
7. dvd/vcd marathon (22 hours straight) huminto lang dahil pumotok yung TV eh!

Seven things you can't do:
1. paint
2. play the guitar
3. speak italian
4. go to the gym for more than a month
5. swim deep waters
6. being makulit!
7. be silent for more than an hour ( exception: Sleeping, eating, PMS and bad mood!)

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. brain
2. humor
3. height
4. values
5. manners
6. eyes
7. lips

Seven things you say the most:
1. Chu chu. hindi yan tren
2. Baby. tawag ko sa bf ko
3. Fuck you/ fuck sheyt. when im pissed
4. Really? disbelief
5. Tama. to agree immedietly
6. SUS. forced to agree
7. peste. very very pissed

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
1. Heath Ledger
2. Brad Pitt
3. Sean Connery
4. Oliver James
5. John Pratts
6. Jerry Yan
7. Will Smith

Seven people you want to see take this quiz:
1. merlin
2. shy2x
3. leslie
4. jen
5. john
6. anbern
7. lee

nag se-senti po ako!

2005-11-19T01:02:00.000-12:00

Saw the movie IF ONLY, yung starring si Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Umiyak talaga ako. It was a very touching movie.

The movie made me reflect. Was my relationship with my Kaguy that strong?
Would he have done the same thing as what the guy did for girl?
I really wouldn't know... But all i know is that i love Merlin so much. If faced with the situation that i have to give my life for him, there is a possibility that i would. He has been there for me. Through the good times and the not so good times. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. I know that you would think that this is cliche but if you knew both of us... you would confirm this.

To my beloved Kaguy, this song is what made me cry most... during the movie. I dedicate this for you:

Today, today I bet my life
You have no idea
What I feel inside
Don't, be afraid to let it show
For you'll never know
If you let it hide

I love you
You love me
Take this gift and don't ask why
Cause if you will let me
I'll take what scares you
Hold it deep inside
And if you ask me why I'm with you
And why I'll never
Leave
Love will show you everything

One day
When youth is just a memory
I know you'll be standing right next to me
I love you
You love me
Take this gift and don't ask why
Cause if you will let me
I'll take what scares you
Hold it deep inside
And if you ask me why I'm with you
And why I'll never
Leave
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything

family time

2005-11-17T10:00:00.000-12:00

SHOWING NA!!!
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Nice movie. Good food. Great company.

Watched the movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire together with my family and Dan (he's considered as family). We had a good time. The movie was worth the price and the line and the hassles it took us to cancel everything we had planned for the afternoon because the first 2 showings were booked. ingana ka grabeh ang tawo.

the casts of HP is becoming more and more appealing to my taste, pati na si Ron Weasley and si Draco Malfoy. HAY! *dreaming*

I really hate Wormtail, He is so... so... bad! Unloyal friend. Grr.
-------------------------------------------------------

After the movie, we went to Kaona Grill to eat dinner. We sat beside a father and daughter who finished eating and was just listening to good music. The daughter was about 5 or 6 years old. She was really into the music. She was the only one who clapped every after song. If she was 15 years older... i'd think she was a band groupie. Grabeh, my father was so amused by the site. She got up and arranged her chair to face the band and she would sort of... "go with the flow" after the set, the dad wanted to go home, but she wouldn't leave. She wanted to stay and listen to music. Her dad explained that the musicians have to have a LOOOONNNGGG break and she kinda understood, but you would still see the pain in her eyes.

i will not be surprised that maybe i'll see that girl grow up to be a musician.

Seeing that made me ask my father if i'd shown any particular interest in anything when i was the same age. He just gave me one answer... He said, "Ganahan man ka mu-arte. Sukad pa na sauna." Then, it hit me that i still have that desire in me. I was always a part of a play, irregardless of how big or small my role is. I love to act. Hmmm, what if i pursue my dreams of being an actress. HA! HA! What will be my screen name? ewan.

*i'll ponder more on the thought*

POOOHHHH --- este POY, kasalanan mo na toh

2005-11-16T07:09:00.000-12:00

nandito na...

three names you go by:
1. ayza
2. rhea
3. elyza

three screen names you have had:
1. ms. hannigan (tama bah spelling?)
2. anne (prosti sa NY)
3. Hermana Penchang

physical things you like about yourself:
1. nose
2. teeth
3. back

physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. weight
2. buhok
3. nails (yan ang nalalabasan ko ng galit eh?)

three parts of your heritage:
1. spanish
2. filipino
3. chinese

three things that scare you:
1. any crawling thing/insect
2. darkness
3. freaky stories

three of your everyday essentials:
1. food o pagkain
2. c.r.
3. electric fan

three of your favorite musical artists:
1. parokya ni edgar
2. kitchie nadal
3. freestyle

three of your favorite songs:
1. Sampip
2. same ground
3. before i let you go

three things you want in a relationship:
1. trust
2. support for each other
3. growth

three lies and truths in no particular order:

lies:
1. the world is flat
2. i'm skinny
3. the moon is made of cheese

truth:
1. i'm sexy (feeling lang, angal!)
2. i love my self and my other half.
3. i'm hard headed. :P

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. brains... baby!
2. sense of humor
3. dapat may palabra de honor

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. thinking happy thoughts
2. tennis
3. scribbling

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. sleep
2. cry
3. dream

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. actress/model (bawal bang mangarap?)
2. accountant
3. chef

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. europe
2. paris
3. egypt

three kid's names you like:
1. samantha
2. alexa
3. odette

three things you want to do before you die:
1. see my baby
2. tour europe
3. sign up for an organ donor's card

three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. curious about SEX... ( i want answers you know!)
2. di magpapakita na hurt na pala.
3. play RPG and strategy games... ewan

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. emotionally unstable most of the time
2. nagua-guapuhan kay SAM MILBY
3. listens to love songs

three celeb crushes:
1. borgy manotoc
2. louis manzano
3. JERRY YAN!

my turn to tag...three people that i would like to see take this quiz:
1. ate ivy
2. sharon
3. john - if pwede?

of being weak... GRRR

2005-11-13T05:24:00.000-12:00

Sorry talaga, I've been out. Haven't written a single entry in a while due to the fact na sick ako. Bumalik TORTICOLLIS ko and yung UTI ko lumala. Di ko kasi ma take uminum ng 1 liter of water a day... dami nun, but now im trying hard.

sorry talaga. babawi nalang ako.

Ang gulo nyo!

2005-11-13T05:10:00.000-12:00

Buhay oh?

ito ba talaga pag tumatanda na? does everyone have a hidden agenda? does every one have to have a motive? why is it that when we get older, mas gumugulo ang buhay, duma-dami ang kaaway at nagiging komplikado lahat. WHY?

Tama bah ang sabi ng isang kaibigan ko na... "pilipino ang magpapa bagsak sa kapwa pilipino?" have we gone that low na? saan na napunta yung morals na biniyaya ng mga magulang natin? Yung pinag-aral natin? Sayang, i thought i knew you guys, but i was just seeing what you wanted me to see. I was so naive.

Couldn't we just have peace, harmony and trust? we are working for one company, why couldn't we get along? why must we stab each other in the back. Ganito bah talaga ka lala ang office politics?

Me? I'm an OKAY na ka officemate, walang problema. Anong sabihin mo sa akin, i keep it to me. I'm what you would call as an wemotional bank. If its a secret and you told me it was meant to be one... walang makaka-alam.

bakit kayo ganyan. Di nga kayo sinasabihan, tinitignan nyo pa files namin from a remote area... pano na yan? freedom of speech... privileges in working in a I.T. Company... and most of all yung work namin? we get affected noh? we search for articles and surf net... THAT's part of our JOB, and limited na kami... Are you kidding me? Who in the right mind would do that?

Bahala na kayo. I believe in KARMA. I believe in KARMA. I believe in the company. I believe in ME and my skills. Pambihira... ikaw, wala kang ganun. Kaya galit ka sa munod.

Tatanda ka sana! BLEEE :-P

BUSY DAY!

2005-11-07T20:04:00.000-12:00

its 4:00 am and im feeling woozy. Don't know why?
i think the medicine had something to do with it.
i have to drink lots n lots of water. hmmm. which i
really hate... im not a water person but if i drink
C2 or any iced tea... hehehe, no problem.

I got a call from anbern today, saying that Cheryl Remedio,
a.k.a. Ma'am Che is getting married. Me, i was in shock
said... "WHAT? WHEN? and WHO?" Much to my surprise, Anbern
said, TODAY at 4pm at waterfront. i dont know much about the
details, ill tell you later when i call again. I will be off
at 5:00 pm so we'll just meet up and go to her wedding.
asked her if the TRF people were dropping by, she said that some
would be, that "some" consisted of anbern, Lee and I. Coz
a lot from TRF is not in Cebu anymore. I felt kinda sad.
then we said our goodbyes.

my jaw was left open. huh? she's getting married?
to who? hmmm. didn't know the guy neither did anbern.
i really wasn't feeling well, but she is a very good friend
of mine... it would be a very bad thing if i couldn't come
to her special day.

next thing in mind was, WHAT TO WEAR!!! SUS, good thing
last sunday, me and my boyfriend went out to kumusta my
roomate after she took her board examinations... we ate
out and went to colon and saw some dresses and saw a
cute party dress that was black with a pink lace over it
with silver flower details. It was great, that even though
i was kinda broke and my boyfriend was also broke i still
asked him to buy it for me. I think he saw the gusto in my eyes
that he actually bought it for me. hehe. my puppy dog eyes
really work on him. :P I bought it thinking for Christmas
parties during the Holiday season. So, heniways... i wore it and
guess what? the motiff was pink... whatta perfect match.

After spending 3 hours eating and talking with anbern and Che... i
went to work. (Ms. Leofe Sagolili a.k.a. Lee was tied up in the bank,
not literally though) I saw my officemate Floyd having a new get-up.
I also saw a new face, our new programmer named Ariel. He's OK.

Back to Floyd... I was so shocked... that i wanted to laugh and cry
at the same time. i decided on laughing and teasing him about his
get-up. Hard to admit but it looks good on him. he's bald by choice
and a pankista by heart...

Now, im babbling.... thinking of what other stuff i'll tell you about
my day.... hmmmm.. hmmm....

Yes! thought of something. (light bulb going on beside tiny head)
I actually was so board early morning that i cleaned the room, mopped it,
cleaned the 2 fans we have... i did laundry... :P and did not sleep... huhu!
and my roomate, was shocked!!!

hmmm... dito nalang!

CHOW!

SWERTE DAW?

2005-11-03T23:19:00.000-12:00

SWERTE?

meron ba talaga nun? i dunno. but if it were true, i'd probably be
one of the luckiest people alive. hmmm. Yeah. I feel LUCKY. I have bad days, but as i sit and meditate how my life went, I lived a good live, i enjoyed the things i did. i learned life's lesson MY way, and its
good cause its stuck in my coconut head like shit.

am lucky because i have a dysfunctional family that loves me. Ive made
them mad, angry and even really pissed but they still allowed me to think for myself. they try to manipulate me but if i say no... its NO!
to my dad, i know you love me and i just wanna let you know that its not your fault that i left the house and lived on my own. I simply wanted to see if i can survive living with my arch enemy... MYSELF! and good news DAD! i have lived with myself for sometime now... im on my 6th month... YEHEY!!!

am lucky because i have a fine gentleman for a boyfriend, a bestfriend, and a soulmate. He's everything all rolled into one. We've been together since college and im definite that i will be spending the rest of my life beside him. To be loved and to love, to support and be supported, to nourish and be nourished... so on. *sob sob* (you get the idea, i'm stopping already coz im crying) Ching, as i fondly call my tambachingching... I LOVE YOU and i am sure that you love me. and for that im a lucky bi@t*h!

am lucky that i have a job in this economic crisis. A company that has its good side and bad... but still the pay is good and enables me to survive on my own, with a few luxury here and there... *grin* *thinks of starbucks and massages and accessories and clothes and... sigh*

am lucky that i live with a bunch of peeps i really get along with, like Shy2x and Stela... the people i really love to hang out. May kasambahay pa kami na si Juzel... she's sent from mindanao para sa amin talaga.

am lucky for my offismate na asteeg! may pooh na anak ng tekla... parang kapatid ko na. Si manong ben, a.k.a. Master na mataas talaga respeto ko and bilib sayu. May Sharon na way libug... and marami pang iba...! lab you all! offismates... ASTEEG!

am lucky dahuil maayus ang pagpapalaki nga DAD n MOM ko sa akin. Pinalaki nila ako with an open mind, fear of GOD, faith, and love.

BASTA! IM LUCKY! No matter what you say... i feel luck!

~~~~~ *singing happy song* ~~~~~~~

when you have all the time in the world you tend to do crazy stuff:

2005-11-03T07:21:00.000-12:00

tid bits bout the cursed dreamer...

1. hows your heart lately?
feeling ko, OKAY naman cya. pero i think something up... can't sleep well eh?
2. favorite cartoon character?
Taz... i like the little devil inside him.... :P
3. describe your room, what can we find inside it?
WHERE's the floor? hehehe... CLOTHES, CLOTHES and hmmm... yes! MORE CLOTHES.
4. what do u do when u feel low about yourself?
i take it all out n my nails...
5. Are you a busy person?
a little, but if you want it to be free... a txt is all i need baby...
6. What are you wearing right now?
a white blouse and jeans and tsinelas... this is what i work with, you know.
7. What is life to you?
life is neverending lesson and sometimes it really sucks!
8. What is love to you?
love is a connection of two minds and the agreement of two hearts to be one
9. What/who do you hate most
Traitors
10. Who do you love?
my soulmate... my prince charmin... you think its you, don't you?
11. What makes you happy?
happy?!?
12. Are you musically inclined?
does concerts in my private theatre called "shower" counts?
13. The first person you always see whenyou wake up in the morning?
Sharon, my beloved and oh so trusted roommate...
14. Do you love cooking?
COOK? i think that is a pre-requisite if you like to eat as well. hehe
15. If you Must be an animal for ONE day,what will you be?
I'd be a a pig... in your backyard that will eat your shit. if you know enchi, you know what i mean.
16. Name One obvious quality you have.
Loyal
17. What's the title of the song that's stuckin your head right now.?
Sampip - parokya ni edgar
18. Who do you think would reply to this survey the quickest?
none... i think wlay mu reply
19. The slowest?
none nga eh... walay mu reply! di kasabut!
20. Are you happy today?
not so. I had a tummy ache and i went to chong hua to see dr.lim
21. Who are you in your dream?
Me, with the ability to fly and make you smile. :D
23. Who makes you happy?
Me! its a decision.
24.Name the Last Four Things U HaveBought?
1. medicine
2. popcorn
3. Oranges & Pears
4. a nail polish
25.Name two things you usually drink?
C2 and water?
26.Last Time You Cried
Last time i realized i fell inlove w/ someone but that love can never materialize
27.What's Under Your Bed ?
nothing... except the dust bunny!
28.What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
11:30AM, call me a lazy ass but mind you i slept at 7:00AM for i work as a call gurl!
29. Current Clothes?
too many to mention... but i cant get enuf skirts
32. Current desktop pic?
Jerry Yan!
33.Current Worry?
hmmm. a new fone and how i can afford one... :(
34.Current Hate?
i hate losing my precious wallet and fone... i hate snatchers and hustlers and yung mga salut sa lipunan!!!
35.Favorite Place To Be?
dreamland
36.Can You Play An Instrument?
does banging a stick into something count?
37.Favourite colour[S]
in order... blue, black, white, pink and yellow
39.Current Favorite Word?
chuhoo! i made that.
40.One Person From Your Past You WishYou Could Go Back And Talk To?
MY MOTHER dearest
41.Favorite Day(s)?
saturday
42.Where Would You Like To Go?
boracay with my friends
43.Where Do you want to live when you get married?
in the house that we built with OUR money
44.Favorite food?
daghan kaau. Food is my weakness.
45.Color of most clothes you own?
black, blue, pink
46.Number of pillows you sleep with?
4 and i still want more
47.What do you wear when you go tosleep?
nothin, or just undies
48.What were you doing 12AM last night?
working for my money
49.what is the brand of your wallet?
marithe francois girbaud
50.Last crush?
hmmm. can't say. he is still my crush!
51.Last CD/song played?
Parokya ni edgar - inuman session
52.Last thing you ate?
an orange
53.Last person you talked to?
merlin, my bf!

bye bye bye

2005-11-02T07:36:00.000-12:00

FUCK. I HATE IT! BAKIT PARATI AKO BIKTIMA NG KAMALASAN.
I work hard for my things. For the money i spend. For all the
luxuries i have... i shed sweat and i gave my best. Im 21 and
i have torticollis a certain condition because you have so much
stress and of being exposed to extreme airconditioning. I started
working young because i wanted to have control over me... financially
and be independent. To do as i please. Finally, i got what i wanted. Independence,
living away from home, a small biz, good food, and a very good fone. Yeah, i had it all
until one man decided to get things that did not belong to them w/o any plans of giving it back.
SUS, pati pitaka ko. i hope sana... di mangyari sa inyu nangyari sa akin... its hard.

I feel like an outcast, walang cell. so disconnected.

but i didn't cry. i will not cry.

my kuya taught me that if you buy something, make sure you are ready to loose it.
make sure you are not that attached to a material thing. Dont fret over it.

I did take the advice of my brother. I was just sad because of the contacts. The sim.

I lost a phone not so long ago. It did not hurt much, maybe because it wasnt my money that
was spent on the phone. This K700i, this was a product of my sweat... lahat ng pagod ko.
HAAY! i dont know kung pano but i'll buy a phone like this or a nokia 6630/6680. depende
na sa swerte if i can find a good find. SANA.

i hope my share of badluck ends... NOW!

as in now na!

im complete because of you!

2005-10-31T01:33:00.000-12:00

I LOVE YOU!

Merlin Tan Jr. you are my other half...

remembering a sad day

2005-10-25T07:08:00.000-12:00

"Been there, Done that" what a common thing to say... i almost say that always, but have i ever been there... or have i tried doing that? I really can't say. Most of my life, ive been rebelling and now im tired of being wild and being bitchy. I guess people really do get old, and once they do they have different means in proving a point or conveying their ideas. This weekend i went to the haus to get samples of my written and published work, i found a lot of written stuff in my chest... i was quite amazed, now i know i used to write well, however the pieces i wrote was mostly angst, deppression, death, cruelty, violence and how i felt unloved. GEEESSSHHH! i was a troubled teenager... just thanked my parents for not giving up on me, esp. my mom who made the ultimate sacrifice. That's what i call it, ULTIMATE SACRIFICE.

I've been what they call a "BRAT" my entire childhood. Well, i was nice but i like to get the things that i WANT immediately or else!!! Yeah, i did school pranks and i wasn't afraid to break any rules because my mom was always there. She would be there to do damage control. Talked to the people involved and have little noise as possible. No sweat for me. hehe. I've been called by the guidance office a lot of times all ready but they couldn't kick me out or anything, i had good grades :D and i had a good debater mom that was a high ranking gov official. So, everything is going my way when i was a kid through early highschool. I do not need to go on details on the stuff i did before cause i have the right against self-incrimination. Just picture in your mind that every little whim i have, i get.

Imagine, just one day, changed my life... it was a day in april. She died at the age of 50. YUP. My mom died when i was 16, i was alone in the house with her, it was a rare thing that i was in the house because i would normally be out on a drinking spree, a movie, a friends house, or a trip to BIBO's. It happened all so fast, i was at the back portion of our apartment trying to do laundry... when i came back to watch TV Patrol, i saw my mom sitting in our bamboo chair with palms upward. I saw it, it was blue so i came from behind and called out her name... MOM? no answer...if my suspicions were true there is one way to find out... I placed my hands on her neck, she was cold all ready but i wanted to see if what i saw on discovery channel was true, i placed a little force on my hand just to have the neck swing a little, but in her case, it was a big swing. That confirmed my suspicions that she was dead. I CRIED AND YELLED AND CALLED OUT OUR NEIGHBORS TO HELP ME. Auntie Gene was there and she called the ERUF and tried to calmed me, but i still kept on crying and crying. ERUF arrived in less that 5 minutes, they tried to revive her, which they managed to do so after the 3rd injectible... so we went to the hospital. It was kind of scary cause im the youngest and i had to go with her to the hospital. I was the only family member... i had no money, nothing and i went with her aboard the ambulance. I remember crying most of the night. I cried in the ambulance and i still recall that i felt like my world collapsed that day. Part of it did because the moment we reached the hospital, my mom's heart beat went blank... It's really hard to see someone you love being place tubes so that they can try to breath... but still she remained cold and breathless. Its painful. Worst is that a year before it happened... i couldn't tell her that i loved her. I was ashamed. I could write it down in a letter but never say it. And a month before she died... she told me that she missed the old me, the one that was expressive and always happy. That time i said she was just being mushy and me? i hate mushiness. Going back, the doctors were trying to convince me to stop the CPR process which involves the electric thing that gives you a shock because her chest was aready bruised. I can still remember my exact answer up until now... "BAHALA NA MABUN-OG AKO MOM, BASTA BUHI LANG! AKO KINAMANGHURAN, HUWATUN LANG NATO AKO PAPA OR KUYA." They did not stop, i saw the doctors effort as well as the nurses to bring back my mom. The doctor explained that if she ever regained her heartbeat she still would be a vegetable cause her brain would be damaged... I still didn't care. I wished my dad or kuya was there, that was the first time in so many years that i WISHED that they were present. My kuya arrived after the 3rd call i made to him. He thought that mom was just bought there for a check-up or admission, but the 3rd call, i told him... "mura'g wala na si mom" that made him come to the office in less that 10 minutes. It was my brother's decision to stop it... I just cried and cried because not until they stopped doing CPR did it sink in that my mom was gone. She's not gonna be there when i need her. She's not gonna see me go into college and get a degree. I hated that night, until now, i still do but i understand it more why it had to happen.

I'll admit it, that for the age that i was, which was 16 i was pretty... pretty immature, obnoxious and hard-headed. Surely, i had a lot of friends, barkadas and a boyfriend to take care of. I couldn't care less about family events, family values and even family members. That was before. After my mom died... I kept asking the Lord why, why he had to choose my mom. Why couldn't it be a drug addict or a snatcher... or anybody else beside her. But then, everytime i ask that... the only reason that would pop in my tiny brain would be... SO THAT I'LL GROW UP! I dont know if i did grow up, but i am a different person now than i was 5 years ago. I'm more calm, happy, a little demanding still (controlling this pa), values family, expressive and i treasure the time i spend with every person.

Sometimes, i still wonder what if my mom didn't die? what if i was not there in the apartment? what if she lived and became a vegetable? what if dad got married right after she died? what if i said to her that i loved her a month or a day before she passed? what if i wake up one day and realized that that event was just a dream? what if i can see her... hay! so many...

So many what if's... countless even. I am sure though that if she saw me now... she would not be ashamed of what i have become. I've become the person who i really want to be, unlike the girl she knew who tried to fit in. I hope you are happy and enjoying life there. Please pray for us here on earth... i know your spririt is still with me and the only thing that was taken away from me was your physical aspect... SO, MOM... I LOVE YOU! im sorry i couldn't say those words before and i wish you were here to guide me. :D

All I Ask of You

2005-10-25T06:42:00.000-12:00

All I Ask Of You

from The Phantom of the Opera
Written by: Andrew Lloyd Webber and Charles Hart
~ Michael Crawford (Phantom), Sarah Brightman (Christine), Steve Barton (Raoul)

Raoul:
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you - my words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...

Christine:
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you...

Raoul:
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe:
No-one will find you -
your fears are far behind you...

Christine:
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night...
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me...

Raoul:
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
let me lead you from your solitude....
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too -
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

Christine:
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...

Raoul & Christine:
Share each day with me,
each night,
each morning...

Christine:
Say you love me...

Raoul:
You know I do...

Raul & Christine:
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Anywhere you go let me go too...
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Phantom:
I gave you my music...
made your song take wing...
and now how you've repaid me:
denied me and betrayed me...
He was bound to love you when he heard you sing...

Christine...
Christine...

Raoul & Christine:
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

Phantom:
You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you...!

(this is the music that my seatmate keeps on playing... over n over agen!)
***grin*** i like it too!

di ordinaryong sakit!

2005-10-24T11:08:00.000-12:00

buong araw wala akong nagawa kundi humiga. baket? yung lower back ko kasi ang sakit! pucha, kulang nalang patayin ako! umiyak na nga ako, uminum ng gamot, nag chicken soup, nagdasal, nagpractice ng mind over matter... pero ayaw parin mawala. Akala ko, massage lang katapat ang hilig ko kasi magpamasahe eh, kaya inutusan ko kasambahay namin para i massage ako. Instead of making it better, lalong lumala. GRRRR! ayoko na! TAMA NA! Late ako pumasok ngayon kasi dumaan ako sa ospital para magpa check-up, may history na po ako ng BONE problem, yung torticollis bah. Kaya ganun, went by dr. flodeliz's office. basic check up. x ray and iba pa. Today, im going to get the results sa mga exams regarding my bones. Funny thing is, when i explained to my friend yung pain ko.

sabi nya, "baka slipped disk yan?"
ako, nagulat... "WAHT!!! di ha..." (sabay search sa internet kung ano yung symptoms, buti nalang di nagmatch! Salamat LORD)

----then an hour after... nag rereklamo ulit ako sa back ko, pa describe na naman cya sa kind of pain, then ----

sabi nya, "di yan bone problem, tol. UTI yan...
"WHAT!?! sa'an mo nakuha yang idea na yan? impossible. di ako pwede magka UTI, nagpa check ako last month for that, negative."
last month yun, iba ngayon? so pa check ka! then he went on about a friend na kilala ko rin who experienced the same kind of thing. Listen naman ako... huhu! dont want that to happen to me. si manong din, yun din ang sabi. baka daw UTI... ito rin daw symptoms ng wife nya.

So here i am, trying to drink as much water as i can before i leave so that i'll have enough urine for a urine test.

I really don't know what caused this, i dont know what to do... sad thing is, my BF just had an operation sa leg nya, kaya he can't visit me and accompany me to the doctor. La akong magawa. Pray lang ako.

dats all for today. taas yung entry but it all sums up to... IM SICK! WWWAAAAHHHH

ps. tsalamat sa mga taong concerned. kahit parating tanong at tanong :P

Happy... shalala!!!

2005-10-23T00:50:00.000-12:00

thats all folks... hehe. ngayong araw na toh, saya ko... kasin na reassure ko self ko na love ako ng dad ko at miss na nya ako. Imagine, pumunta cya sa bording haus namin. Well not exactly. he did not go inside and check my place pero my roomate saw him outside ng boarding haus namin at always looking at our room. Patingin tingin effect bah. My roomate, si shy naging excited, sumigaw. Ganun, nadinig ng father ko na tinatawag ako dahil dad ko daw nandyan sa labas ng bahay. Me naman i went down and... VIOLA, my dad... hehe. Miss ko na dad ko at family ko but living alone was my choice. I wanted to see if i can make it. Parang testing waters bah. I also wanna change. Me and my sisters are somewhat oil and water. Parating nag-aaway. So, this way i miss them. :P

the only bad thing that happened to me ay...! Nasira tiyan ko, i ate too much last night eh. HAY! pagtakaw nga naman oh!

na bwibwisit ako sa inyu! HITLIST KO!

2005-10-21T02:47:00.000-12:00

Kaninang umaga, i was fascinated by a conversation i had with Shy (my roomate), we talked about my enemies and how i felt towards them now... I said to her na kahit gaga ako nuon at maraming ka balbal-an ginawa... i still have a few list of people i can't stand to be stuck in an island with... so here's my list!

Enemy #1. DA THICK FACE
haynaku. one word lang to describe you is INSENSITIVE! why could you not see whats happening sa iyu. why act that way. I may not be the most mature person in this world but i know that if that happened to me i would not just sulk around and make excuses!

couldnt you see it! grrr! laki mu talagang tanga... i hope di ka pumasa sa licensure exams mu... bahala na kung masama tingin mu sa akin. DONT CARE! you keep on smiling pero ang itim pala ng budhi mo... you even madde a comment once na "maldita ka"! i'm not scared... ayoko lang ng gulo. we are living in the same haus kaya hindi pa kita binali-an nang buto. I respect yung landlady natin. you should thank her... na wala pang masamang nangyari sayu!

Feel mu takot ako sayu...? for crying out loud... you dont know the real me. ayokong ilabas ang kahayupan ko... baka magmaka wasak wasak buhay mu.

Enemy#2. DA ASSUMING
SUS! feeling pretty. vain. unfortunately, no brains to back that up! i hate seeing you doing the ritual para pumuti ka. di mu ba alam that if white-skinned people are more prone to skin cancer. DUMBASS! hehehe... sus, wala pa gani working experience mamili na trabaho... ug ka trabaho dapat HAAY!

Enemy#3. DA FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO I WISH WOULD DIE
Pwede tan-tanan mo na ako... i dont wanna see you. i dont wish that our path mag cross pa! but you are always lurking around alleys near my place. Don't you know that you are a certified stalker! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! you idiot. you left me and now you want me agen... anu ako? HILU?

msg for you and you and you and you...

2005-10-21T02:19:00.000-12:00

Write down 10 different lines that are intended
for certain people. Dont tell anyone who they're for!
(from the blog of floyd na galing din sa blog ni doms.. here goes nothing!)

i love you! you've been there through it all! i can never repay your kindness and love that you have given me. I'm here and will always be here, as long as you want me to be. You have been everything that i wished for in a partner and so much more... i dont wanna loose you, so please pick up yourself and let's start anew. I won't let go of your hand i promise!

I will never be me w/o you! I know you had your reasons for letting go and i respect it. I'm sorry I really wasn't able to let you know that I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOU!

I miss hanging out with you guys! I miss the house and i miss our routines. I'm sorry you felt bad about my decision and how i acted back then. I hope that one day i can go back there, but as of now... im still hurting and i wanna resolve this feeling alone. ITS JUST MY WAY!

ikaw babae ka, intregera kay ka. wala kay nabuhat sa balay kundili mag pa grabe ug sitwasyun. isipan, hambugera, sabaan, ms. know-it-all, and feeling cute (di raba dyud)! balik na sa inyung lugar... didto pag hasik sa imung hilo! B_I_T_C_H!

salamat. you are a true friend. Intelligent pero weird. tama ka... away bati nga tayu but i know na you are a friend for keeps! Wouldn't wanna jeopardize that rare find for any material thing or temporary excitement! (di bale nalang kung si JERRY YAN yun!) Swerte yung babaeng mapapangasawa mu! I hope makita mu agad cya, para may ina-anak na ako!

I want a mellow life, di na masyadong iinum, parties na gusto ko ay tayu2x lang. bakit di nyo ako maintindihan. Don't call me "others" cause ive never been that! Kahit 3 o'clock in the morning tinatawagan nyo ako... takbo naman agad ako ah! When did i go wrong? Gusto ko lang na di na masyadong wild yung life ko... masama ba yun?

I hope that you will realize that we can never be anything anymore. Not lovers, not even friends. I don't respect you eh? you've ripped that little trust i had in you when you made me cry again. lahat ng physical at emotional pain na dinaanan ko sa iyo sana maranasan mu. don't call me now! its too late... dont need help, dont need you love, dont need your money, dont need your car... most of all I DONT NEED A FUCKING ASSHOLE LIKE YOU!

why are you so eccentric? i don't know why you do the things that you hate and dont even like. If you are not happy... why do it? if you do not feel complete, then why stay? Risk what you have now... its not much anyways! LIVE. live your own life, dont let anybody dictate what you are and what you want to be!

I envied you! you had everything. you always get what you want. you always got away with it. you had the blessings any girl would want but you wanted more. the more selfish you became, the more good things you had... until now! You are hurting good people and i hope you can find the one man that can complete you.

salamat. for loving me at that period in my life. for accepnting me as I am. not wanting to change me. forever grateful ako sa iyo, you taught me things that helped me through my trouble years. you saw me when i was down yet you reached out and gave me a lift, i returned the favor once... but even now... i know that if i still call you and ask you to help me you will be there!
(my biology experiment drawings were great!)

Realized this... just now!!!

2005-10-20T10:06:00.000-12:00

gaga talaga ako... ngayon ko lang na realize that i can have two blogs... at kaya kong i maintain both... tanga talaga ako, dunno why? i had a conversation from a new friend si doms, tinanong nya sa akin if i keep a blog. Sabi ko, YUP! pero di ako masyado magpopost ng intimate na thoughts kasi baka makita nang mga taong ayoko na ma-associate pa sakin. GRRR!

Now, i made another one. Im keeping my other blog but if you ever find this/or know about it, just means your a treasured friend or a very lucky person...!

right now, i promise to do regualr updates. TRUE feelings whatsoever! bahala na!

LIFE IS UNFAIR! SO LET ME RANT!!! LET ME SCREAM!!! LET ME GRUMBE!!!

-and most of all-

LET ME BE,

ME!